Restaurant Review - Bravo! (Really? An exclamation point in your name?)

I hadn't been to a Bravo in 5+ years but I remembered it being decent for a chain. This one opened up nearby so we decided to check it out.

They did a great job changing it from a gigantic fake Mexico into a gigantic fake Italy. I'll give them that. But everything else was pretty lame.

Our server was clearly new to the job and awkward. I think ours was the first bottle of wine she had ever opened. It took approximately 5 painful minutes.

From the salad on the food was more sizzle than steak. Whoever wrote the menu is clearly more talented than the cook in the kitchen who actually made the food. It was under-seasoned and generally bland. We ordered a salad of mixed greens, apple, spiced pecans, gorgonzola, and balsamic. It read really well on the menu and wasn't bad but it wasn't that good either. The portion was triple what it should have been, it was drowning in dressing, and oddly, the greens were all chopped up making it harder to eat. We also ordered a Pasta Bolognese and a Pasta Pomodoro. Both were under-seasoned, bland, much larger portions than necessary, and uninteresting. The Bolognese looked and tasted like Hamburger Helper, which is a plus in my book. The Pomodoro tasted like a can of tomatoes dumped onto some noodles with unseasoned chicken.

We ordered a bottle of Sketchbook Pinot Noir which was pretty good. This was definitely the highlight of the meal.

All in all we concluded that for about $10 more we could have had a wonderful experience at Basi Italia or for the same money could have had much better food and service at Lola's in Gahanna. Sadly, both are closed on Mondays so we settled for Bravo.

Sadly the wonder pups had to wait until almost 9:00 for us to get home and give them their much-anticipated bowls of dry kibble.

Restaurant Review - Lola & Giuseppe’s Trattoria

Last night we decided on a whim to go to Lola & Giuseppe's Trattoria in Gahanna. Thank you Chef Drew for the recommendation. Wow! The menu is simple Southern Italian but everything we tried was done very well.

The Food:
I had the Pappardelle with Bolognese and Ganny the Spaghetti with Italian Sausage and Peppers. We paired it with a bottle of their finest (only) Chianti. The pasta was surprisingly homemade and delicious. It was cooked more al dente than what we are used to but exactly as it should be. My Bolognese was incredible. I ate every bite and considered licking the bowl. It reminded me of Ganny's gravy made with veal bones. Pardon me while I wipe the drool from my keyboard...aj;jhozuihssdl;kjafhlskdjfznjwoeuyf8hw2uhw20vsasl;kja;d;llllllllll.

Ganny wasn't blown away by her dish but I thought hers was pretty damn good too. But mine was definitely the winner.

They bring out a basket of delicious garlic bread with your meal. For the record, if anyone ever wants to bribe me, I accept cash and garlic bread. The bread itself is thin like a sliced baguette with real butter and real garlic flavors. It's browned crisp on the top from the butter and the bottom from the crust. It's fantastic.

We also ordered an appetizer that I don't see on their online menu and I can't remember the name of. It was like a fettucini alfredo that was formed in a pan, chilled, then cut into squares and breaded and fried and served over red sauce. The idea of it was very intriguing but I didn't care for it.

The family at the table next to us recommended we get the onion soup before it sells out. Evidently selling out happens frequently and early. And alas, it did last night before we got the chance. But our server was nice enough to bring out a sample since there wasn't enough for an order. It was very good and sweet. We will certainly try that next time, if we get there early enough.

The Service:
We were greeted at the door by who I surmise was Lola, with a beaming smile. She seated us right away with a warm welcome. Our server was down-to-earth and friendly. She did a great job and made us feel at home. We immediately felt like regulars there and it seemed like everyone there was a regular. I think we will be too. Before calling it a night (see sneaky picture I took while exiting the restroom), the chef who I surmise was Giuseppe, came into our dining room and sincerely thanked us for coming and wished us a happy evening, life, etc. It was right out of a movie script.

The Atmosphere:
The restaurant is in a strip of businesses but it has a warm and, to borrow a phrase from Hooters, delightfully tacky decor. Thankfully Lola was not dressed like a Hooter girl. It is divided into several small rooms with 3 or 4 tables in each. This set up lends itself to a sort of coziness with ones roommates that you don't get in most restaurants. It invites conversation makes everyone feel like family. Lola and Giuseppe were both incredibly welcoming and friendly as was our server and everyone on the staff I observed. The restroom is in the back of the restaurant which can only be accessed through the kitchen. As a result I got to see the entire kitchen staff and they also all gave friendly smiles.

The Conclusion:
I was blown away by Lola's. I can't wait to go back and explore more of the menu. We've been looking for a simple and inexpensive sauce-on-noodles kind of Italian place and we've found it. Total bill last night with a bottle of wine: $61. Fantastic. It's going on the list of favorites.

Yeller and the illegal alien dog were just as happy with their dry kibble when we got back home.

Date Night - L'Antibes

Friday night was date night for Ganny and I. We made a reservation at L'Antibes, poured cocktails into our traveler cups, and walked on down. Neither of us had ever been there before but we've been intending to go for quite some time. We're not huge fans of classical French fare but not appalled by it either.

We weren't crazy about any of the appetizer choices so we intended to go for some pomme frites and salad. Our server told us about a short rib and risotto appetizer special that changed our minds though, but we still wanted to try the fries.

I ordered the roasted lamb loin (Sorry our pictures kind of suck. We didn't want to use the flash in the restaurant.) and Ganny went with the sweet breads. We paired this with a 2007 Reninger from wild and wonderful Walla Walla Washington.

The Food:
The obvious place to start when describing the food is with the truffle oil. I think we each ingested about an ounce of the stuff. It was in the risotto, it was on the fries, it was on the lamb, it was on the cow glands, it was everywhere. By the end of the meal it seemed like it was in our wine. I had to look in my pockets afterward to make sure the coat-check girl didn't slip some in while we were dining.

I like truffle oil, don't get me wrong. But I think it should be banned from the planet. No one seems to be able to use it in the minuscule quantity that it requires. And that was certainly the case at L'Antibes. Honestly I think you could put truffle oil on a lump of canned dog food and it would taste the same as on an exquisitely prepared sweet bread or lamb loin.

That being said, I thought the lamb was quite good. If it had 1/10th the truffle oil it would likely have been perfect. The same for the fries. The risotto was fantastic and the short rib was, well, not actually short rib but pretty good nonetheless.

The Service:
I was not displeased with our service. I found our server to be professional and knowledgeable if not necessarily sunny. The style of service was very reminiscent of what I've experienced in France. To many it would be a turn off but I'm not looking for the "can I get ya' some of our awesome poppers or a bloomin' bag of fried mutton wings" type of be-my-new-best-friend service. It was slow and deliberate with time to enjoy the wine and each course. Since I'm not the one who had any service issues I'll leave that to Ganny to write.
Enter Ganny:  I too appreciate non-invasive but attentive only when necessary service.  My issues with the service started with the table in the back of the restaurant, leaving me feeling less important than one should feel when entering an establishment where they will spend the next 2-3 hours.  See the empty bread and butter plate and clean butter knife to our left?  That plate stayed empty for the duration of our meal, and I LOVE bread.  Maybe not as much as the Sotted Critic, but if it were offered to me, I would have enthusiastically partaken.  There were four other tables in that restaurant with bread on their tables, and I am certain that each table didn't ask for bread. Strike two. Apparently we were not breadworthy.  We were not amuse-bouche worthy, either, as two of the four tables were presented with tiny cups of cream of celery soup from the chef.  It was as if the hostess / coat check girl's job is to determine a guest's class upon their arrival, and stamps "Haut Monde" or "Pleb"  in the reservation book.

The Atmosphere:
Aside from the aforementioned truffle transgression, the atmosphere and ambiance is what most troubled me about L'Antibes. The decor is Spartan but acceptable, the lights were too bright and quite harsh, and the music was the right type, jazz, but way too soft. Add to that the carpet and linen tablecloths and the sound level is very low. As a result, everyone in the restaurant can clearly hear everyone else's conversations quite clearly. It was, too say the least, uncomfortable. To add to our level of discomfort, we were seated in the very back table against the back wall where conversations were amplified even more. I joked as we were seated about getting the finest table. Don't they know who I am?! Seriously though, the place was only 40% full on a Friday night and the window tables were left empty. We were clearly the hottest people in the joint. They should have showcased us up front.

The Conclusion:
L'Antibes did not give us any reason to go back. The truffle oil was a crime against food that defeated the primary purpose of our visit. The service was less than a thrill, which I'm fine with but still not a reason to return. The atmosphere was flat out uncomfortable. And all this for only $180. I feel that if you're going to charge the super-premium price in your restaurant, you have to hit all these notes right. You have to create an experience that makes your guests want to come back. I wanted to be blown away but it was a disappointment.

Side note:
Screw you Hubbard Grille bartender who ignored me for five minutes at the bar until we decided to leave for friendlier shores.

By the way, the service at The Rossi was wonderful.

And the wonder-pups enjoyed dry kibble (without truffle oil).

Homemade Pastrami on Homemade Rye Review

Today for lunch I was lucky enough to have made for me a delicious pastrami on rye sandwich. But it's not just any pastrami or just any rye. Ganny made both at work. The pastrami is incredibly flavorful. It has a delicate smokiness that I'm told comes from three different smokes from three different woods at three different temperatures. Through all that comes the brine and the beef itself. Truly fantastic. From what I've heard about the process of making this pastrami it would probably have to cost upwards of $200 a pound but it would be worth it.

Then there's the bread. It is soft and full of flavor with an absolutely perfect crust. It would be wonderful on its own but it would be a crime to remove the pastrami.

I only regret that I have but one sandwich to give for my stomach.

Coffee-Chili Pork Tenderloin Recipe

Last night's dinner was a new one and quite delicious. While the dogs (Beaner and New Yeller) had scrumptious bowls of dry kibble, Ganny and I enjoyed a savory and spicy pork tenderloin with mashed sweet potato and asparagus. She seemed to think it was a bit too spicy. Last night I disagreed but upon further reflection I think less heat would have made the coffee and other spices more notable. Regardless it was very tasty.

As is our habit lately, Ganny paired her meal with a really bad wine. It had an intense alcohol odor and a flavor reminiscent of Easter egg dye. These are not the official tasting notes from the winery by the way. We think we bought this wine for about six bucks hoping that it might be drinkable. It is important to remember that sometimes you really can judge a wine by its price. Recommendation: hide this wine in the yard with the rest of the Easter eggs then don't look for it.

Coffee-Chili Pork Tenderloin

Serves 4
1 T canola oil
1 1/2 t finely ground espresso powder
1 1/2 t ground chile powder, such as ancho or cascabel
1/2 t dark brown sugar
1/4 t dry mustard
1/4 t ground coriander
1/4 t garlic powder
1/4 t kosher salt
1/4 t freshly ground black pepper
1 pork tenderloin, about 1 1/4 lbs

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Coat a cast iron skillet with the canola oil, and bring to medium-high heat.
Rub pork with dry spice mixture Let sit for a few minutes.

Place tenderloin in pan. Sear for about 3-4 minutes, and turn over. Sear again for 3-4 minutes. Continue to sear all over, and once you have made your final “flip” of the tenderloin, place skillet in oven on middle rack. Bake for about 25-30 minutes, or until a thermometer inserted into the center reads 150 degrees. (remember, the meat will still continue to cook for a few minutes after being removed from the oven) Tent with foil and allow to rest for 8-10 minutes, and then slice.

Restaurant Review - El Vaquero

We have a love/hate relationship with Vaquero's. The food is absolutely atrocious but the margaritas are sooo good. And then there's the crack cheese. First, it's called crack cheese because it's so good and every bit as addictive as crack. Second, this observation is consistent with the first because we're quite certain it contains no actual food (more on that below).

The service is almost on par with the food quality at Vaquero's. I've frequently pondered just how long one should wait at a bar without service before it becomes acceptable to just make your own margaritas. I mean really. All the bartender (a mythical creature at Vaquero's) does is open the spout of the machine and pour it into the glass. What I don't understand is how the food, service, music, decor, and ambiance can be so mind-numbingly awful while the margaritas are sooo good. Usually if a restaurant does most things badly you can count on everything being bad. But their margaritas are the best I've had on 4 continents. I know, I know. All the other continents are (sadly) margarita wastelands. But these are truly worth the flight from Australia or Mexico City or wherever.

The food however is well below the standards of what I'd feed to my dog. Seriously, I feed New Yeller only the finest "human grade" dog food. I don't think "human grade" has ever graced one of the cases of horse meat that Vaquero's brings in through the back door. We've occasionally ordered fajitas with the philosophy that it's really hard to screw those up. Somehow they manage. Through trial and error we have learned that the only acceptable "food" order is crack cheese.

Crack cheese is crazy delicious. We're talking Mr. Pibb + Red Vines delicious. We order it every time we visit Vaquero's but, for the aforementioned reasons, we'd really rather not go there. I feel that I have perfected the art of the margarita at home and we certainly have better decor, ambiance and food. However, that freakin' crack cheese would summon us. So we had to learn how to make it.

We tried every white Mexican cheese we could find to no avail. Then, on a whim, I asked my [Redacted name of major commercial food distributor] rep if he knows what they buy. Turns out, we have the same supplier. So I learned the super secret ingredient is Land O Lakes Extra Melt Process American Cheese Loaf.

Yeah. It's as sexy as it sounds. Regardless, it's unbelievably good. So Here's the recipe for crack cheese:

50% Land O Lakes Extra Melt Process blah blah blah
25% sour cream
25% half and half

In order to make it spicy, purée jalapenos ( 2 per lb of cheese) and heat them with the half n half for a few minutes on low, then add the rest over a double boiler.

So there you have it; no need to ever visit Vaquero's again. Although we still go quite a bit. If you've ever been shopping on a Saturday afternoon you understand the need to stop for a margarita.

So as much as we hate it, we'll still stop by Vaquero's for drinks and crack cheese.

Wine Review - Monte Antico

We have been buying this wine for a few months now whenever we see it. It is usually priced between $10-12 a bottle but tastes more like a $25-30 bottle.

It comes from Pisa and demonstrates that at least they can make one thing right.

Here is the info from the wine's web site:

Monte Antico means ancient mountain in Italian.  In the world of fine wines, a unique combination of quality, reliability and value since 1977, this label belongs to Neil & Maria Empson, who launched the Super Tuscan five years after founding the Neil Empson Selections.  It was their special affinity to the heartland of Italy that led them to make their very own mark on Tuscan soil: with the Maestro of Italian winemakers, Franco Bernabei.  They have styled the Tuscan grape per eccellenza and expressed its ultimate potential, complimenting it with Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon.  The best selections are cherry picked according to harvest conditions in the individual terroirs and microclimates.  The blend for Monte Antico is 85% Sangiovese, 10% Cabernet Sauvignon and 5% Merlot. The best selections are blended and aged 1 year in oak (80% in Slovenian barrels, 20% in barrique) with at least 6 months bottle age.  This wine is consistently one of Italy’s better values.

Vineyard Characteristics:

Terrain includes compact, fine-textured limestone, at an altitude of 1,312-1,476 feet; rocky, clayey/calcareous areas, also at altitudes around 1,350 feet; and clayey/siliceous/calcareous soil.

Vinification & Aging:

Soft-pressed; racked into stainless steel tanks Fermentation: At approx. 25°C (77°F), followed by maceration for 15-20 days Malolactic Fermentation: In stainless steel vats for 7 days. Élevage: 1 yr in oak (80% Slovenian barrels, 20% French barrique).

Tasting Notes:

Deep ruby in color, its bouquet of leather, earth, herbs, black cherries, licorice and plums is confirmed on the medium to full-bodied palate – round, spicy, elegant, attractively fruity and extremely versatile with any fare from pasta or risotto, to meat, fowl and cheese.